Kathrynisms

"If you are driving, and you have a toothpick in your mouth, and you get into an accident, you could poke your throat out."

"Greasy food makes you go to the bathroom because it lubricates the esophogas and the food slides right through you."

"If you sleep too long you will be tired because your body won't know what to do with itself."

"If you're subjected to higher frequencies, above your hearing range, for too long, you'll get a headache - and go mental - and go crazy."

"If you bite your lip, it makes the skin weaker so the acids in your mouth can eat through it."

"Expectorants make you cough by putting an itch in your throat."

"Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos...the entire 'itos' food group..."

"It's good for you to be upside-down once in a while - it helps reverse the blood flow."

"'Cause they make more  money off people getting $1 off..."

"Salt kills spicey foods - Why do you think Mexicans eat tortilla chips with salsa?"

"In New Hampshire-in the summer-all the ski mountians turn into golf courses."

"If you swallow a piece of dental floss, you could cut out your esophogus."

"Insurance could be much cheaper on a newer boat since it is less likely to malfunction and hit someone randomly."..."like, what if the breaks don't work?"

[On ZZ Top] "Didn't one of them get cancer because of their beard...Beard Cancer?"

"I thought it was every nine years - thats why its called 'El Niño' - 'The ninth'"

"You can't be Jewish and English if youre that old."

"Pigeons don't fly, they're 'walking birds'"

"That's where your spleen is (poining to front) - that's what happened to Rich  - He burst his spleen - no, apendix - I was just reading about spleen surgery"

"Donphins are fish. They are mamals too - they're fish-mamals. That's why they get caught in FISH nets ... "

"Zoe's going to grow up thinking that food comes from little windows in the backs of buildings."

(at the gas station) "I know why the car doors automatically lock - so your kids don't get out and lick the pumps."

"Don't clean the counter - the cleaning people are comming a week from next Tuesday."

"You don't like Greek food? You're un-American"

"When people go skydiving, do they wear parachutes?" ... "I thought they just maybe landed on a big trampoline"

(After eating at Applebees) “Dibs on the bathroom with the plunger!”

“Gespacho - I thought that was something from the world war - No, wait, that's Gestapo...”

“Isn't there a resturaunt called the Texas Cheesecake Supository”

“Try some vegtables - but not too much if you already have diareha”

“I agree with 90% of what Dale [Gribble] says”

K: Why don't they put signs on bouys to tell you where you are, rather than just numbers?
B: what would they say?
K: I don't know: “You are here”

[Helium Baloons] “They're bad for the environment if you let them go - they scare birds”

“Fat guys don't look good in hats”

“...he swears like a fish.”

“To have life, you need water, heat, light and Plankton. Plankton's what everything eats - it's the basis of all life.”

“He lands it in Bedford? Does he take it off from there too?”

"Didn't Nana have bone spurs from drinking too many minlkshakes?"